As expected, breastfeeding is now over (for this child). It’s been about 24 hours. I don’t and won’t have any of the usual weaning hassles, because I never did produce enough milk, and lately it’s been maybe 10mL a day (what an adult would consider a sip). Some people lose weight when they stop breastfeeding (presumably because the body finally realises it doesn’t need to hold onto that pregnancy weight any more). It’d sure be nice if I was one of them. I have actually weighed this much before, but it was differently distributed. Perhaps my giant pregnancy belly will shrink a LITTLE now that the pregnancy is truly, finally over. If I suddenly drop several kilos, I’ll let you know. (Other people gain weight when they stop, because breastfeeding burns calories.)
It occurs to me that a lot of my deep pathological hatred of breastfeeding is probably due to the myriad issues Lousiette has had that have caused me to associate her pain cry with any kind of feeding activity (including, unfortunately, solids – so now I have to man up to face eight feeds a day instead of five). That at least means I MIGHT be able to breastfeed just fine with the next child. Maybe even not hate breastfeeding like I do right now. We’ll see.
A little part of me is sad to have lost that unique connection – but mostly I just dreaded it five to ten times a day for four and a half months. So I’m glad Louisette finally cast her own vote on the matter.
Right now CJ, Louisette and I are all sick – the classic nightmare for any household. CJ is by far the worst – he came home from work yesterday and won’t be going in today. I skipped a couple of minor outings over several days and I seem to be mostly fine by now. He and I have some kind of stomach bug, while Louisette has a cold. She’s only been mildly ill – enough that I certainly notice changes in her behaviour but I don’t feel freaked out or completely destroyed by the experience. She’s past the worst of it, and I’ve had a nice gentle introduction to infant illness. She’s been a little grumpy; a little clingier; has had a few arsenic hours (which she normally doesn’t have); is dopier when awake and sleeps for shorter periods; more mucus and sneezing of course; she’s much hungrier (she had a couple of days’ regression to six feeds a day instead of five – plus the three daily servings of solids). She’s also been sleepily rubbing her face in a completely adorable manner. I subtitle the below picture: “There’s a live aardvark in my fridge again? Hah! I KNEW I’d forgotten something. How EMBARRASSING.”